Movie Reviews Within 5 Minutes

Yes, my SPM trials are coming up and somehow I couldn't find the time to publish more articles...

But before that I have been watching a few movies...So here's the lowdown...

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

This is nothing like the game...There aren't even any real Persians in this one. The Persians were potrayed by a bunch of tanned British actors, and Jake Gyllenhaal. If you want an epic final battle scene, this is not the movie for you...(Rating: 2/5 stars)

The Karate Kid

So, they decided to remake this 80's classic and it turned out to be a great effort. Even though the film should be named 'The Kung-Fu Kid' because the movie is about kung-fu, Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan did a great job in moving the story, making it less boring. (Rating: 3.8/5 stars)

Inception

Christopher Nolan has done it yet again. After his overwhelming success of The Dark Knight, this movie about entering dreams is his most intelligent flick yet. Closely observe the end and it will ask you the movie's biggest question. (Rating: 5/5 stars)

After all the movie I've watched, Inception is the best one yet....

Cheers,

-Tim-

PLKN

As you all know, the list of National Service candidates are out, or as the Malaysians call 'PLKN'...

my friends and I were desperately checking whether he or she has been listed as an PLKN candidate...Well, most of them got it and they had the most priceless reactions.

But for me?

I NEVER MADE IT!!

YES!!!

After a few days anxiously waiting for a reply, I finally found out that I'm not heading for PLKN after SPM. I knew that I wasn't gonna get picked because my brother Marvin got picked before and there's a 70% chance I'm not gonna be a PLKN conscript....and I was right!

For all those who got picked...you better go to college early or good luck...

Cheers,

-Tim-

EAT DA POO POO

For those who don't wish to read this article, feel free to read it...

So I came by a video on Youtube titled 'Eat da poo poo', and I wondered what was it about...I found out it's a video of an Ugandan pastor spreading his campaign to fight homosexuality. Watch the video to see for yourself:

My God, did you laugh your ass off? or did you feel disgusted? The best part of the video is that pastor kept on exaggerating on eating the poo poo...It's like the worst part of being gay is eating da poo poo....I totally love the part where the pastor shouts "DEEPEERR!!!"



Cheers,
-Tim-

Dead Men Walking

Three people wait in line,
Behind a group of ninety-nine,
Awed by the gate's bright shine,
One of them asked,"Did someone poison my wine?"

"As you can see, this is the afterlife,"
Said a man who got stabbed by his wife,
Not a machete but a butter knife,
"After I watched Deep Purple live."

One man stared blindly into space,
They giggled at the look upon his face,
With his untucked shirt and untied lace,
"Someone sprayed my eyes with a mace!"

Then a white figure appeared,
With a wise complexion and God-like beard,
The three men looked and then feared,
"Oh no, it's the man with the beard!"

He stood and rang a bell,
A spell a rebel yell,
He opened his mouth and He was about to tell,
"YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!!!"

One by one they took the fall,
When they lived they had it all,
They last look at the man so tall,
"Wait, who has my ball?"

They once ruled an entire nation,
They loved to smell a carnation,
Then came a figure whom they have no relation,
He said,"Hello, bastards. Welcome to damnation!"

 

 

Cheers,                                                                                            -Tim-

Screen Reviews – Iron Man 2

 

Oh, yes. One of the biggest blockbusters this summer is out and ready to give fans one hell of a movie. Take a look at the poster, you know that Iron Man is not the only star in the movie, but the superhero that fans have been waiting for: War Machine and a lot more…

Luckily I got a chance to catch the movie before my exams and let me give you my review:

After watching this movie, I was really impressed but it also left me scratching my head. Since it is a sequel, Iron Man 2 was supposed to be bigger and better than the first one but it wasn’t as big as the first instalment and it somehow was at the same level as the first one. But it was still as badass as its predecessor.

Robert Downey Jr. failed to disappoint as Tony Stark/Iron Man, the billionaire-turned-superhero-turned-ultimate celebrity. His performance was believable because technically he’s playing himself when he was a drug addict, alcoholic and  train wreck. Downey’s real life experience was channeled in Tony Stark which corporates with the film’s plot. About Don Cheadle, I actually miss Terrence Howard being Jim Rhodes since he had a big role in the first movie. Howard had his chance to be Rhodey, but it was Cheadle that became War Machine, the second Iron Man with the huge, badass guns.

Plus, Scarlett Johansson was HOT. I shit you not, her performance as Russian SHIELD agent Natasha Romanoff wasn’t top-class acting but you will be distracted at how hot she was in the movie. Not to forget, Mickey Rourke. Ever since The Wrestler, Hollywood can’t get enough of Rourke and his role as Russian physicist Ivan Vanko is so realistic, you will forget that he’s American although he has about 10-12 line in the movie.

Well, the CGI was great when it comes to the action scenes but IT WAS TOO SHORT. Damn, the best fight scenes are like magic tricks: Now you see it, now you don’t!

Overall, it’s still a fun movie but not an amazing sequel…

3.9/5 stars

Cheers,                                                                                            -Tim-

Keep Calm, Carry On...and study

For the past four months, I've been going through school life like any other Form 5 student...going through a gigantic pile of shit....

Since it's our final year in secondary school, we will be bombarded as much as we want just so we can succeed, get straight As, go to college/university, work, get married, start a family, and then die...But of course it is for our greater good(not)....

On the brightside,

I finally got tickets to go see STEREOPHONICS LIVE!!!

YES!!!!

The band's Keep Calm and Carry on Tour is coming to Asia and Marvin and I got tickets to go see the band in KL.

At first, we were given a choice to go see them in KL at the 28th or go to their Singapore Leg at the 30th. Due to the ticket prices (KL-RM78 for Early Bird or Singapore-$98), we decided to go to KL since the price is reasonable. Plus, I'll miss a day of school, what the fudge not?

Want proof? it's right here...

The clock is ticking, the concert is in four days, can't wait...


Have a nice day guys....

Cheers,

-Tim-

Screen Reviews – Clash of The Titans

 

“Release the Krakken!”

This was the famous line uttered by Zeus in the movie Clash of The Titans, the remake of the 1981 film of the same name…For those who have no idea about this movie, let me fill you in the details…

Okay, so the movie focuses on a young man named Perseus, who was secretly the son of Zeus, making him a demi-god. After he discovered his roots, he sets out on a journey to fight Hades and some other creatures in order to defeat Hades and his not so wonderful creation, the Krakken. With a name like that, who knows what kind of dick jokes people come up with.

What do I think about the movie? Well, it is good but it is also quite bad. Aside from all the breathtaking scenery, kick-ass action, great CGI, most of it was as cheesy as the 1981 version. Story wise, this film has a lot of potential since it’s based on Greek mythology but the emotion, the clever catchphrases is cut down from second to none.

This is so far Sam Worthington’s third lead role( in an action movie), but his acting chops didn’t bring life to the movie, he only brought the grittiness in the stunts and various action scenes. Ralph Fiennes was somehow supposed to be diabolical as Hades but he made a cringe-worthy performance as  God with a terrible case of asthma. What about Zeus? the more larger-than-life character? Liam Neeson put up a decent job but the only part that defined him was that very familiar quote : (refer to the one above you nut)

Overall, the movie is flawed in every way but it is a fun movie to watch if you love action movies and Greek mythology…

Cheers,                                                                                            -Tim-